19/03/2010

my eyes get really tired

i feel a bit frustrating. i dont think i want to admit this feeling but i must admit it. anyway i havent look at website of modeling agency i belong for ages, and i was really curious about what everyone doing thesedays and i googled about it. most of them are doing very well now they on cM, magazines, show and so on. im actually envy them, and i fell really rush. you know because i havent done anything big things in it yet . i did only 2 jobs even though ive been in this agency for 4 and half years. its quite sad for me and i always think i might not good at modeling jobs. well it might be right. but now im in uk and enjoying my life. im 19 and i will be 21 when i go back to japan. ive heard that from 20years old you are a bit late to do modeling. well i dont know its true or not. argh anyway i just wanted to say i feel a bit frustrating about it.
i think i should make more short film. im really happy when i make a short/silent film even though story is not good. and it might be good for my future! my dream is become an actress as supporting role like Steve Buscemi, thats my dream :) sometimes people asked me why not main character, it is because supporting role is more cool for me. you see Steve Buscemi is realy great on every movies and people cant forget him can they? even they dont know his name, they remember his character. thats brilliant.
あたい日本人じゃない人が日本人を演じるのがあんまり好きじゃないんだ。だって日本語がかたことだもん。もちろん海外の人たちには違いはわからないかもしれないけどこっち側からしたらすげー不自然。とくにSAYURIとか良い映画だったかもだけどさ。まあKILLBILLは・・・あれはおもしろさだからええのかな。上手くは説明できないけどね。やっぱり日本人探してるのなら日本人をって思うけどあんまり海外で活躍してないもんね。英語もできるわけでもないし(できる人もいるかもだけどさ)もっとがつがついかないとジャパニーズ。はは。だからがんばりたいね。うん。がんばるって言葉そんな好きじゃないけどそのほかの言葉がみつからんね。まあ結局言いたいのはあたいはその中の演じれる人になりたいなーなんて思うわけですよ。海外で。夢はでっかくだよでっかく。日本でさえ上手くいってない人が何言ってんだーって思う人もいるかもだけど。

1 comment:

  1. 分かるあたしも頑張るっていう言葉嫌いやけど他にみつからん。それに人に頑張れって言わないようにしてる。とっくに頑張ってるの分かってるし
    ほんとにやりたかったらできる!アンナもあたしも

    ReplyDelete